October has slipped away quickly, and almost without my noticing. I’m spending Election Day trying to avoid news coverage and distracting myself with anything that might hold my attention. Since that attention is short right now, I bring you a list of things that have been on my mind lately:
October Slide: Most people with chronic illnesses will tell you that October in the Northern Hemisphere is a rough month. For some unknown reason most of us see an increase of symptoms and flares. And yet October in Virginia is stunning, full of perfect weather and bright trees. After the relentlessness of the summer heat that makes my body unable to tolerate walking from the house to the car, the cool breeze and sunny skies of autumn feels like a taunt when I’m unable to really enjoy it. Hopefully November will offer some relief while the weather is still nice.
Phone Banking: Politics gives me the willies, but I’m also aware of how important it is. My election anxiety has gotten the best of me and led to calling strangers to ask them to vote for specific political candidates. I am not able to canvass or show up physically somewhere to talk to voters, so phone banking works really well for me. I’ve only done this a few times this year. And I can’t say it’s making election day any less anxiety producing. I’m still learning how to navigate these new waters, and I’m grateful for more experienced volunteers offering advice. It’s not comfortable, but action feels better than the opposite, so I’ll keep doing it probably for every election in the future.
Used Books: Our library had its biannual used book sale last week. In the online book community as well as with my friends there seems to be a trend towards beautiful special edition books that look stunning on a shelf. And while I enjoy a beautifully printed book as much as the next person,I prefer used, worn books more. To me, books are made to be devoured. Sparkly, special books can certainly be used in that way. But there’s something special about picking up a book that someone else read and loved before you to the point that the book shows that history. The bent spine, the scratches and dents, the softness of the worn edges all point to a book that has lived alongside someone for a time. It feels like finding a gift left for you by a friend, something they treasured and passed on to you.
Light Kidnapping: I’m not sure how messed up this makes me, but I’ve recently acknowledged that if a Romance has some light kidnapping in it, I’m usually very into it. So far I’ve discovered this through mafia romances. To be clear, I don’t believe actual real life kidnapping is a great idea or a good time. Fictionally though, it slaps. I’m mostly talking about when one of the love interests in a book kidnaps the other. But I’ve been known to enjoy books where the antagonist kidnaps the main character. Although, now I’m realizing why I always felt like that skewed as romantic. Should I bring this up in therapy? Probably. All of this to say, if you have some book recommendations, I’d appreciate them.
Ruthlessly Deleting Social Media Apps: Like many of us in this advanced age I have found myself addicted to endless scrolling. Not having an occupation or school or children or some other structure around which my life revolves, I’ve found that social media can become an effective thief of my time. I emerge from these hours-long sessions feeling tired, anxious, and frustrated with how I’ve spent my day. Despite my attempts to manage this addiction by creating boundaries and rules around their usage, I’ve found myself unable to stick to them. My only option has been to delete them all from my phone. I haven’t gone completely cold turkey. I watch youtube videos on our TV, and I have Instagram on my tablet that I don’t pick up often. So, I don’t feel completely cut off from the world. But it does help to give that extra step between me and the endless scroll. I find that I still often pick up my phone unthinkingly only to pause when I don’t find the expected app available. I’m doing my best not to shame myself for this. I remind myself that these apps are the cigarettes of our time, an incredibly unhealthy addiction my generation embraced without thought while those peddling them were willing to sell our time to the highest bidder. The whole thing is incredibly disappointing when I remember what early social media felt like, the feeling of connection and creative play. Maybe one day we’ll be able to feel something like it again.
I hope this day treats us well and leads to something better for us all.